Personal Acceptance

In life, there are things about ourselves that we find hard to live with or even think about. These things, as I see them, are actually some of the real causes of our personal miseries at some point of our lives.

When I was 13 years old, at the time of raging hormones and overwhelming pressures to fit in, my own personality was a subject of loathing for myself, and a subject of ridicule from bullies. Because of that, I hated to see my own reflection in a mirror (although this has carried over to the present, I still feel uncomfortable facing a mirror for a long time). I used to say, "Why do I have this wavy kind of hair? Why is my nose like this? Why am I named this way and that?"

Because of that, I suffered emotionally, because I long to be something that I am not. Each time I see the school heartthrob, I used to wonder why he's what he is and I am not. Yeah, at that age, it was a guy's envy when someone else is famous with the girls.. so I guess I was normal after all if I felt envy. Anyway, when I had a conversation with this heartthrob, he confided in me that he still has his insecurities despite his status in school. And, yeah, he waves me off each time I tell him that a lot of girls like him, instead saying, "Dili tawon ko guapo bai!"

Perhaps I had been gifted (or cursed?) with a mind that doesn't stop thinking while my eyes are open, and I found myself realizing that while to my eyes he is the epitome of perfection, for him he still lacks something because he felt that way (of course if he was not pretending anything while talking to me).

Even my empathic nature is a source of consternation for me during my younger years. At that time, I had no idea what an empath was, nor did I even care to find out. It just irks me why people's emotions seem to flood into me and affect me like that time when I was the one who cried instead of my cousin that was being reprimanded by my mom. It turned out he was just holding it in, but it spilled into me and made me cry.

When I grew older, i started becoming comfortable with myself, not because I realized I had something others don't have, but because I've started becoming weary of complaining to myself why I am like this or that. When I first understood what an empath was, I started gradually to accept that I am one of them, and that I cannot control the alien and out of context emotions that I feel. I started to understand myself and thus, accepted myself.

My point here is, when you've accepted yourself and what you are, things will be a lot easier. Our own miseries which we inflict upon ourselves in our discontentment will no longer bother us, because we are already comfortable with the idea that we are what we are. We won't bother comparing ourselves to others and finding a lot of faults. In acceptance, I guess, we find peace.

The Church and Homophobia

Just recently, I've been noticing a rising trend of homophobic tendencies or some sort of censorship against homosexuals in the Roman Catholic Church.

One of these include the recent prohibitions made by the Church to all parishes and chapels in regards to celebrating town fiesta. One of these included barring Miss Gay competitions or even Boxing sa Bayot (Boxing of the Gays) in any entertainment shows to be shown in the whole week of the fiesta.

I asked the lay minister in charge of the weekly Bible studies (hypocrites, in my opinion) and he said something like, "These things should be banned because gays are not the epitome of beauty" or something along those lines in the Cebuano language.

I'm not fond of same-sex relationships at all. However, I have friends who are homosexuals. Most of them are close friends. For their part, I was offended. The minister's words made me think that the Church views homosexuals as merely monsters or abominations to this world. So now, they're cracking down on these people because their gender are not something that was pointed out in the Bible.

Some priests probably would even point to homosexual behavior (same-sex sexual relations) as a prelude to a second Sodom and Gomorrah although I haven't heard anyone say it yet.

What the Church is forgetting is that these people are humans. These are human beings with a mind and a heart to be hurt and offended by what they are being said to be. They probably forget the saying, "God created us all in his likeness." I wish I could've recorded what that guy said and used it for blackmail. Too bad I didn't. Anyway, the point or the argument is still the same: does the Catholic Church look too down on homosexuals to the point that they are no longer humans but animals not carrying the likeness of God?

They are so quick to point out the "horrors" of same-sex relationships but they are also quick to cover up the true horrors of what most of their priests are doing to young children all over the world.

A joke told by Jeff Dunham's puppet Achmed the Dead Terrorist goes as follows: "I did the same to two Catholic priests, but I tossed in a small boy! And the winner had to fight Michael Jackson!" How apt indeed.

Well, I happen to be pro-life but I use condoms. So what does the Church, a staunch "pro-life" defender, have to say to that?